what to do when you don't know what to do

It's late, but don't look at the time. It doesn't matter.

Take a breath and find the keys to your car. Your car, a friend's car...just get the keys in your hand.

Most likely it will be dark, but don't turn on any lights. Move through the dark like you can see perfectly, and know exactly where you're going.

When you reach the door, turn the knob slowly, but surely. Don't look back. Do move forward.

Outside, breathe in the night and let it surround you. Morning is hours away, the dark will be here for a while. Stop and watch the sky, spin until you make a kaleidoscope out of the stars. Let the lights blur together.

Once in the car, drive until you reach a long road. Highways are the best, long highways with no detours. The destination isn't important, not yet.

In the car, there will be music. A radio, Cd's, tapes. Pick something you know or something you don't. Whatever it is, it has to be loud. Once you've picked your soundtrack, find a song and turn up the volume until you can feel the vibrations coursing through your ears, your head, your ribs, your lungs.

Listen to the drum beat, the strumming of the guitar. Your heart will race, but let it. Try to match the rhythm of your heart with the melody filling the car. It's telling your story, it wants to help.

Then, you sing.

Even if you don't know the words, sing all that you can. But if the song is familiar, scream out the lyrics. Roll down the windows and let the cool air rush in on you, meeting the warmth of your face. Call out to the night and challenge the morning, it's coming too soon.

Breathe

Cry

Pulse

and Breathe again.

Eyes on the road. Hands on the wheel. Mind on the music.

You're almost there now, reaching the lights in the distance. Here is where you stop.
You have a choice to make, a divergence in the road. Think.
Do you return? Do you retrace your steps to your bed and lie awake until morning. Do you forget this night and wander back to the lfe that led you here in the first place?
Or do you continue on? Do you race towards the sunrise with nothing to fear?
You have come this far, but now you must decide. Any further steps must be taken alone, through your own will. The last direction, one last guidance and farewell:
Choose wisely.