all hallows

It's Halloween, all hallows eve. My costume needs attention and work, yet I find myself at the computer once again. Typical me.
Instead of reveling in the festivities of the day, I have spent the last few hours working away relentlessly on my college applications. It's an odd feeling, condensing the bulk of your high school career into a few pages, your dreams and aspirations into a few lines.
Then there's the personal statement, where you only have a few paragraphs to mystify your audience with some incredible happening. I've been told this should come eay for me...several times. But being a writer simply hasn't prepared me for this. Out of all the things that I could write down on that small, blank space...how am I to choose? Which moment is the right moment?
All of this uncertainty has left a strange, foreign feeling in the air. The house seems too quiet and the clatter of the keyboard, far too loud.
I'm clouded over and confused about so many things at present, yet these emotions meet in a head-on collision with calm and sponteneity.
If it seems like this entry is scattered and difficult, my apologies.
The truth is that the future is a daunting concept, even more so when you have no pretense as to where it is headed.
This is not my usual October.

I wish life has a pause button. It's only mid-october and I'm about to short circuit. So let's see, classes so far:

Religion: Stuff I learned years ago. But hey, nothing like a repeat.

AP Lit: The only class I love. We're just finishing poetry, which is unfortunate. I don't think I'll ever get over my inclination towards poetry, it's been a part of me for too long a time.

Pre-Cal: Oh boy. Don't even get me started on that one

Economics: A decent class. I'm currently reading up on the music business and how to manage a record label. But the assignments are piling up and the exams never end, and that's enough to darken my entire view of the class.

Health/Pe: A break in the day where I get to run around and play sports, no qualms there.

Photo: Another great class. It would be perfect if my old-fashoined 35mm would cooperate with me. It has temper tantrums whenever I try to load the film.


So yes, these are the reasons that I need a new backpack not even two months into the school year.
Ah well, it's days like these ( with their welcome weekend distractions) that make me forget about my dangerous workload and help me enjoy the world.
And for that I truly am grateful

hopes and leaves

October. My favorite out of every month of the year. This is so because the tenth month is not only my birth month, but also because it marks the arrival of Fall and the eerie festivities of Halloween. Only a few weeks in, October has begun on a rather strange note, the rush of cool air settling over us being the only positive occurrence that I have yet seen. But I have faith in the possibility of change. Though off to a rocky start, I have high hopes for the rest of the month and for the blissful transition from the hot and the bright into the cool and the overcast.
September has left me feeling uneasy. With my backpack already boasting a large rip at the seams and the ever-growing stack of college applications waiting on my shelf, I feel as though Senior Year is not going to be as I thought it was. In all honesty, I imagined a chance to step back and, God forbid, actually enjoy the social aspects of high school life. I have one word for my naive musings:
Ha.
School work never let up. On the contrary, it increased all the more, with heavier books and stricter grading policies. If it is indeed the wicked who never find a moment of rest, then by all means, find me a pointed hat and paint me green.
On the brighter side of things, my list of shows that I will be attending is growing by the minute, with October and November already peppered with set concert dates. Coming up next is AP Magazine’s Fall Ball, where The Academy Is..., Mayday Parade, Set Your Goals, and several other admirable groups will be taking the stage. Of coarse I will be covering that night in my adjoining blog , so be sure to read up!!
In the meantime, I will be hiding beneath the covers with my beloved coffee, enjoying the contrasts of the crisp temperature and the warm liquid. Bliss.

To Do List:
-get dress for Fall Ball
-search for my warm socks
-take up sewing and fix torn backpack
-decide on halloween costume
-actually organize concert calender....and my room